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68
Posted by
Moderator
15 days ago
Stickied post

Attention: All top-replies to this post must be a vote.

Any non-vote comments must be made as replies to the stickied comment below.

EVERYONE WHO ENTERED THE CONTEST IS ENCOURAGED VOTE

Deadline: Wednesday, September 26th, 2018 at 11:59PM PDT


It's the final countdown!

The first round of voting is over and the final round is here! It was amazing seeing so many of you taking the time to give feedback to each other during round one. It makes a contest like this so much better! And now, here we are, ready for the final round of voting.

Before we start, let's all make sure we know how this works.

Voting Guidelines:

  • Everyone who entered can vote
  • If you don't vote, you can't win
  • No voting for yourself
  • Read each finalist and decide which three are the best
  • Leave a top-level comment here starting with your top three votes:
  • Deadline for votes are Wednesday, September 26th, 2018 at 11:59PM PDT. We're giving three weeks for voting this round. (https://www.worldtimebuddy.com/)

Finalists:

10 Finalists

65,949 total words


Next Steps:

  • Points will be awarded for each vote, with each voters top pick getting 3 points, 2nd pick getting 2 points and third pick getting 1 point. Points are added up to determine the top 3 participants.
  • If there is a tie /u/AliciaWrites and /u/Tiix will read the responses and make a final decision.
  • A post announcing the winners will be stickied and we can all celebrate!
  • After the winners post comes down we'll be putting up a feedback post!
68
93 comments
17
Posted by
/r/ScottBeckman | Comedy, Sci-Fi, and Organic GMOs
2 days ago
Stickied post
17
2 comments
36
Comments are locked

Hey Reddit: Want to write better? Eliminate grammatical mistakes, wipe out wordiness, and let your ideas shine. See for yourself why over 10 million users are hooked on Grammarly's free writing app.

36
comment
162

Because OP deleted their account, and I'd still like a little feedback on what I wrote:

The news was abuzz. Journalists, reporters, cameramen alike poured into the centenarian's room, while her caretakers and descendants were bombarded with questions outside the small apartment. The Chemical, Biological, Radiological and Nuclear unit waited outside as a precaution in case such powerful words caused adverse reactions outside of civilian control.

How could a person live 100 years without speaking a single word? As her loved ones explained, from a young age she was abused by a system that didn't value the fairer gender.

She was born in an era where her father would get dead drunk for one night and his profanities once he woke in the morning would physically blow her backwards. Her mother was no less at fault, telling her that she was worthless and should be seen, not heard. Her education was minimal; when she learned how to read and write was a mystery, and she definitely did not use her vocal cords in that endeavour. She had nearly been sold into prostitution when times were bad, but had been spared that fate when the business was outlawed by the government. For 20 years, she did not speak a single word, in fear of the reprisal from figures of authority.

Her adulthood seemed like a bright spot in the future, but it was in truth no different from the past. She got a job as a factory worker, who could not be heard over the machinery. Thankfully, the union usually spoke up in her interests regardless, but since they talked so much against the deaf ears of the executives, she wondered if their words were really worth it. She eventually got into a relationship with a colleague, birthing one child after another. He was usually too tired to talk to her after work anyway, and the children, though loving her as a child would, eventually found more solace in the outside world and their friends. Indeed, she was cognisant that she had not spoken a single word for so many years, and that a child's mind is a blank slate blind to mankind. Whatever she said to them could be too powerful and create adverse effects. For the next 40 years of her life, she did not speak a single word, as no one had ever asked of her anything.

Into old age, she was similarly neglected. Her children had varying occupations and social strata. Some rose to the higher ranks of the very factory that gave her the money to feed them. Others entered the government to debate policies that helped people her age. Their words were, similarly, well intentioned but not powerful. How many discourses in the private and public sectors could truly effect change if they kept talking and talking and diluting the strength of their words? And so for the last 40 years of her life, she did not speak a single word as she faded into retirement and obscurity.

That was a very long story; how do we know all this? Not from her descendants, with whom she spoke nothing to, but from her first and final words, which were powerful enough to carry 100 years of personal history into the minds of so many across the country. All who heard those words - words that somehow propagated all over the country - were instantly stunned by the arduous journey behind them, fueled by a century of solitude.

"I am free."

162
13 comments
45

This week, she appeared in every single dream of yours....And today, you would find she knocking on your door, with a bouquet in her hands. She smiled and your world seems to melt.

-“I hope those dreams reminded you well....”

45
2 comments
0
Comments are locked

Get your Bob Ross on with the Reddit Gifts Art Supplies exchange! Sing up by October 1st to get matched!

0
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